The truth is...

The truth is, I love to write.  I look forward to it all the time. 

The truth is, it still amazes me anytime someone wants to read what I write.  And they like it.

The truth is, I want to get paid to write.

The truth is, sometimes I write from a brutally honest perspective.  And people may not like it. 

The truth is, I want to get paid for some sort of fitness industry related "thing."  

The truth is, as much as I work out I am still really self-conscious. 

The truth is, sometimes it is hard for me to focus on the amazing things I have achieved and not be hard on myself for other things. 

The truth is, my elderly dog is a lot of work but he is worth it. 

The truth is, I don't know how I will handle it when he goes. 

The truth is, things on the outside aren't always as they appear.  For example, the guy who mows my lawn thinks I am rich.  Ha...do I have him fooled. 

The truth is, sometimes I get down and have to figure out what the true source is. 

The truth is, sometimes I look at my life and think "wow I did good for a teen mom." 

The truth is, my kids friends think I am pretty cool.

The truth is, as much as my kid can drive me nuts I will probably hate it when she moves out. 

The truth is, if I could go back and be as honest with people years ago as I have the nerve to be now I wonder how life would be different. 

The truth is, I absolutely hate to cry in front of my mom.  I have done it very rarely. 

The truth is, now that I think about it I mostly have just cried in front of my dogs. 

The truth is, I hate the holiday season. November and December I can totally skip.

The truth is, I have some weird issue where my arms can make awesome farting noises on their own. And heaven forbid it happen at the gym in front of a cute guy.  

The truth is, Hawaii in 21 days doesn't even seem real. 

The truth is, there are a lot of truths about me I won't share.  But those are a few.

Speaking of Hawaii...here is my new book stash for the trip.  I am excited to read these.  I will have plenty of airport and airplane time so taking four is not unreasonable.  At least, I think that's a true statement.

Learn to Love the Process

Day 9-Can't explain this complete funk I'm in.  I'm sick of it though.  My funk did motivate me to power through 2 miles before my leg day workout tonight.  I'm just feeling blah.  But tomorrow is the last day of the fiber drink. Woohoo! 

I have all these exciting things coming up and exciting ideas in my head.  Without something in mind to achieve I wander aimlessly.  I need to be working on achieving something.  I have some things I'm already working on and some things in my mind I'd like to make happen.  Part of what I like about achieving something is the planning process, thinking about what I need to do, how to get there, and then making it all happen.  Really goes hand in hand with a workout.  Learn to love the process and it's never a chore.  Today it was no doubt the best part of my day. 

24 day update

Day 3-really confused by this new confidence at the gym...walking around doing moves I normally shy away from doing in front of people. 

Day 4-Dry heaved twice after chugging my fiber drink but keep it down #winning

Day 5-Feeling good, can't get enough water.  May have taken a small bite of the kids ice cream.

Day 6-Suffering memory lapse while at the gym and load up my Body Pump Bar warm up weight with more weight than I do with any other move except squats.  For my warm up!  Bad choice.  Half way through my warm up think to myself "What the hell were you doing?" 

Day 7-Want Chinese food something fierce.  And maybe some root beer. 

Day 8-Rockin out some hanging leg raises at the gym when a girl walks by and looks at me and says "whoa" and gives me a thumbs up.  #feelinggood   

Women Rock Weekend

Last weekend was the Women Rock Starlett Challenge in Chicago.  It was supposed to be a 3 races, 1 day event where I run a 10k, 5k, and 2.5k.  We received an email 2 days prior to the run saying the race course had to be closed by 9am.  Next, I sat back and watched as all hell broke loose on the FB page.  This time change meant anyone signed up to run the half marathon had to run it in 2.5 hours max.  A lot of people hadn't trained for those times.  So, unfortunately, the disorganization and last minute chaos resulted in a lot of unhappy runners.  I was kind of "meh" about the changes.  I figured I could run at least two of the three races and I would make the best of it. 

At packet pick up they explained that the runners doing the Starlet Challenge would still receive all 4 medals (1 per race plus 1 for competing the challenge) after running the 10k and expected to run the other 2 races virtually.  Ok by me.  I wanted to just get everything my very expensive entry fee had bought me.  I still wanted to earn it of course.  At packet pick up they also handed over a $20 gift certificate for the trouble.  They were apologetic about the mess at least.  They were also giving refunds to anyone who preferred a refund.  It was obvious on race day that there was a lot less of a crowd there than were signed up.

The morning of the race was cold and windy...18mph winds.  The course was still beautiful though.  Running along the lake is always a good run.  This was my first 10k run.  I've done 5ks or half marathons but never a 10k.  It just has never seemed like an appealing distance.  For some reason it's appealing to run further than that but 6.2 miles just always sounded like...well, two 5ks.  I figure I can train for speed for a 5k or endurance for a half marathon but 6.2 miles is somewhere in between those two lines so I've just skipped over those races.  I was running into the wind for a good half of the race or more and I know it really impacted my time.  I was looking forward to turning the corner and having the wind at my back.  Amazingly enough the moment I did it was like the wind completely stopped.  Why wouldn't it die down now that I'm not running into it. 


My knees always ache after doing a half marathon.  Mostly just my right knee.  During this run my knee started to ache at mile 2.  It was then that I decided I was very glad the races worked out like they did because I knew it would be tough to make it 10.85 miles when I was hurting during the second mile.  I think it was from running on grass to pass people at the beginning.  I was frustrated with my knee because I felt awesome otherwise.  My breathing was on point and the rest of my body was cooperating just fine.  It didn't really kick into full pain mode complete with the "pain face" until mile 4-5ish.  (pain face-when you look at someone and say wow they look like they are in pain) But I kept on running.  I know from past experience stopping would make it impossible to start up again once my leg started to stiffen up.  So I kept running and was sort of glad there were 3 different signs up for mileage (for the half marathon, 10k and 5k) so I couldn't ever REALLY tell how many miles in I was.  I had a good idea from crossing the 5k timing mat on the way but the signs were pretty confusing. 

The finish line was a cluster as there were 5k runners coming around a corner and the 10k runners needed to cross in front of them to turn into the finish area.  It was here I got smacked in the face.  Yes.  Smacked in the face by the two girls that decided to high five each other across the sidewalk. One of which was obviously facing me but didn't seem to notice the person running straight into her hand.  If it hadn't been me it would've been one of the other hundred or so people behind me so maybe high fiving across a crowded sidewalk was a bad idea.  6.1 miles into this run with a throbbing knee and now a smack in the face and I was not real pleased and their giggling "oops sorry" did nothing for me except maybe gave me a little boost to sprint to the finish line in annoyance as I wanted to get out of the crowded cluster of runners.   

The wind is back after the race and in this photo I'm actually trying to hold the sign in place so it a. doesn't fall over or b. doesn't smack me in the face since I've already checked that off my list for the day.

When I did the Women Rock half marathon in 2013 there were several handsome, shirtless men at the finish line.  This time there were three.  Shirtless at least.  I didn't really see their face because I was just happy to be done and looking for some water.  There were definitely no handsome, shirtless men at the post-race party like there was in 2013.  So that part was a bit of  let down but in the cold wind with a sore knee and hungry stomach I got over it fast. 

I have to give them some credit on the race swag...it was a hefty entry fee but I walked away with a Vera Bradley weekender bag, a t-shirt, a tank top (courtesy of the gift certificate), a necklace, a champagne flute, and my four medals.  Plus several bags of chips because that was the post-race snack.  That was a first to see.  I'm used to seeing bananas and granola bars but this time was Cheetos and Doritos.  I brought them all home for the kid.  I was about to eat plenty in Chicago...

Starting with beignets at Grand Lux.  So.  Good.  I tried to eat some blueberry pancakes as well but the beignets were the star of the show.  We proceeded to walk and shop and along the way hit up Garret's for some popcorn as well as Magnolia Bakery for Banana Pudding to take back to the room for after dinner.  Dinner was at Bub City BBQ.  No doubt I made up for any calories burned running. 

In all my trips to Chicago I've never seen the bridge raised.  We were walking along and heard a warning bell going off and stopped to the side to watch it.  We proceeded to watch as pedestrians took their time walking along the bridge.  If I was on a bridge that had warning bells going off....my butt would be race walking that sucker at the least.  Sore knee or not. 

One sailboat crossed under the bridge.  Can you imagine "We're going to need you to stop traffic and raise the bridge for our boat to come through.  Thanks."  No biggie, just sailing my boat. 

My fitbit had registered over 12 miles by about 8pm and then it reset itself because it was set to the wrong time.  So technically I guess I earned all my medals that day.  I completed more than the 10.85 miles.  And while anything after the 6.2 was walking around the city, I am certain I would've been walking most of the 5k and 2.5k with my knee acting up.  It didn't go quite as planned, but that's life for ya.  It all worked out in the end. 

24 Days

Yesterday I started the Advocare 24 day challenge.  I've done it before back in 2013, but I am 30 days out from Hawaii so I figured this was perfect timing to do again.

The day starts off with probiotics and a fiber drink.  I mix the fiber drink in with Spark and chug it.  I learned that from past experience...chug or regret. 

It's basically supplements and a clean, healthy diet.  I'm working in the Catalyst this time which is a blend of branch chain amino acids and helps maintain muscle mass during exercise. 

My twice a day Spark and pre-workout L Arginine Extreme isn't anything new.  There's a bit more to my routine overall.  Here is how Day 1 and Day 2 have felt:

Day 1:  Chug the hell out of the fiber drink...extremely difficult to get all the food in for the day.  Biggest thing I noticed was I am depressed in a weird, hard to explain why, way. 

Day 2:  Feeling good...again extremely difficult to get in all the food I need and really have to force myself to eat.  I have no problem getting all my water in. Can't seem to get enough water.  Had a very good leg workout at the gym...much more energy than normal.  Sometimes I try to get the moves I don't like doing in front of other people done before the after work crowd shows up but today I gave no effs and walked around the gym like I owned it.  Maybe it was just all my energy needing to be expended. Definitely no cravings.  Depression/mood swings/anxiety in full swing...like ridiculous.  Not sure if this is due to something I added to the mix or because I ran out of Clear mood last week...I usually take that daily.  Or it could just be because people are jerks.   

I'll keep an update on how the next 22 days go. 

Protein lowdown

First to start...I received my new phone.  After all that I finally realized the problem was my SIM card.  Second, vanity won and I went back to the dermatologist to have my blood vessel cherry thingie removed.  I wanted it gone and healed before Hawaii.  The nurse asked if it was hurting or bleeding and I said no. She then informed me that it would have to be considered cosmetic and not submitted to insurance. "In that case it hurts like a mother."  She didn't buy it.  Still was a small price to pay to help the ugly thing along.  The worst part was the numbing but I did inform the Dr. I heard the electric needle sizzling against my skin. He said I had a good imagination. I said he had bad lying skills.  It was over in 30 seconds.  

I tried out a new protein bar and didn't notice until I went to eat it that it not only said Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip but also said (tastes like cookie dough).  So maybe just call it cookie dough?  Or PB Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough?  It actually would be great if more protein bars did that...only if they were honest.  Like lemon Quest Bars would say "Lemon Pie (tastes like Pledge).  Or Cookie Dough Quest bars "Cookie Dough (tastes like protein but if you try real hard maybe it'll taste decent but not really like cookie dough) S'mores quest bars could say (trust us the chocolate chunks alone are worth it)

Speaking of protein I thought I would compare a few for any of my other protein junkies out there.  First, Advocare meal replacement shakes in Berry.  Essentially a protein shake.  

Protein: 24 grams

Calories: 220

Fat: 3 grams

Carbs: 24 grams

Fiber: 5 grams

Taste: mixed with water this is decent...somewhat like strawberry milk, better very cold. 7/10

Price: 44.95 for 14 servings (retail) 

Next up Advocare meal replacement shake in Chocolate Peanut Butter. Again, essentially a protein shake. 

 Protein: 24 grams

Calories: 220

Fat: 3 grams

Carbs: 24 grams

Fiber: 6 grams 

Taste: mixed with water it tastes like chocolate and...something else.  Not sure that something is peanut butter but I can't put my finger on what exactly it does taste like. 6/10

Price: 44.95 for 14 servings (retail) 

Arbonne Essentials Vanilla Protein 

Protein: 20 grams

Calories: 160

Fat: 3 grams

Carbs: 14 grams

Fiber: 1 gram

Taste: I almost always add fruit and mix this with almond milk.  It tastes amazing with bananas.  8/10

Price: 69.00 (retail) for 30 servings 

Cellular Whey Cor-fetti Cake Batter

Protein: 25 grams

Calories: 130

Fat: 1 gram

Carbs: 3 grams

Fiber: 1 gram

Taste:  if you need something sweet this fits the bill.  It does taste just like cake batter but the best part is it even has sprinkles in it!  I give it a 6/10 only because there is a bit of an aftertaste that I don't love. 

Price: 29.99 for 26 servings and you can usually find coupons or free shipping on many sites. 

PEScience Select Protein in Cookies N Cream blend of Whey and Casein protein

Protein: 24 grams

Calories: 110

Fat: 1.5 grams

Carbs: 1 gram

Fiber: less than 1 gram

Taste: 9/10. This stuff is amazing.  My favorite.  I mix with water and it tastes like what the flavor says it is.  The only way I would give something a 10 is if it tastes like a doughnut so a 9 is great. 

Price 26.99 for 27 servings 

PEScience Snickerdoodle blend of whey and casein protein

Protein: 24 grams

Calories: 110

Fat: 1.5 grams

Carbs: less than 1 gram

Fiber: less than 1 gram

Taste: mixed with water it is quite tasty.  Pretty sweet. 8/10

Price 26.99 for 27 servings

Winńer: PEScience Cookies N Cream.  The benefit of combining whey and casein into one protein shake is the whey is quicker absorbing and casein is slow absorbing.  Casein is a great protein to have at night before bed so your muscles get the benefits of the slow releasing protein while you sleep. This is when your body is recovering and repairing. 

The Advocare shakes are a bit higher in nutritionals since they are marketed as meal replacements.  A lot of times I use protein shakes as meal replacements.  If you watch macro intake (maybe another post topic) the PEScience shakes are fantastic macros. There are other flavors and brands I would like to test but I need to get thru my stash first!  

I never pay full retail for any of my protein.  I get discounts in one way or another.  Protein and supplements can add up quickly so look into coupons and discounts if you are in the market. 

Sunday no fun sick day

I had a post with pictures planned out...but....technology.

If I didn't have to return my phone to T-Mobile after I get the new one in the mail, I would be calmly walking to the nearest concrete wall and not so calmly throwing the damn thing at said wall. Repeatedly.

I would also take along the frisbee and throw it with the wall as the receiver.  In this case by frisbee I mean laptop.

I have been lucky enough not to get sick in a really long time.  Until yesterday.  Sinus infections are no fun.

Thank goodness for Longmire on Netflix.  Oh and Xanax....because....technology.