Keepin it real-The A word

Not the A word you are thinking!  Not here to talk about my ex.  (Insert hilarious laughter here). Too easy. 

So the other day a friend and I were chatting and I joked about Xanax.  That got their attention.  Long story short....turns out this friend suffers from some anxiety but keeps quiet about it and was happy to have someone to chat with who also has anxiety issues.  This person made the comment that it made it easier for this person knowing this person wasn't alone.  (Don't want to use he or she because they are under anonymity) 

I've always wondered what goes on behind closed doors.  Behind the picture perfect lives we see posted on Facebook.  Most of us, although there are some....we all know some, tend not to post the tough stuff.  So I wanted to write this because I am not afraid to say I suffer from some anxiety issues.  I am working on them. But when I look back at my life I think about how long I faked being happy in my marriage just so I wouldn't be embarrassed about how bad it was.  I didn't want people to know and think I was stupid or a failure.  How many people do that and suffer in silence when chances are there are friends who may be going through similar challenges as well and would love someone to talk to who can relate?  I am not saying go post on Facebook all your problems, that would be weird and annoying.  I am just saying a lesson I have learned is don't be ashamed to be who you are...every bit of you.  I am me.  I have some issues with anxiety.  The lists of my positive traits would take a lot longer to type up.  I'm not ashamed of my anxiety and to be honest, at this time in my life it is a big part of who I am.  It impacts some of my decisions.  (Especially like when I won't go to the mall, gotta avoid crowds) It physically impacts me (my chest pain gets really bad), And a lot of times it just sucks.  But I am not alone in it.  And if you have something you struggle with....chances are you aren't alone either.  

It took me a long time to realize I even had an issue with anxiety and what I dealt with wasn't exactly normal. What is normal now anyways?  If someone claims to have it all, everything is perfect, no issues, they wouldn't change a thing....I am going to thing they are weird!  We all have a thing. 

Embrace who you are...every bit, even the Xanax swallowing bit.  (Full disclaimer Xanax is addictive and I work closely with my doc on not going all Michael Jackson on this stuff.  Too soon?  Sorry.). 

I am me and I have anxiety.  But I still love who I am.  

And that friends is your motivational/sappy/TMI post of the month.  Now, off to take a Xanax before I overthink what you all will think about this.